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Life of Michaelbross/Transcript
to Felipebross Network warning screen Narrator: This episode is rated TV-PG-V and may contain injuries. So we recommend children under 10 may NOT watch this episode without a parent or guardian. So watch this on your own risk. Intro Card Shows "LIFE OF MICHAELBROSS" Directed by Felipe S. Produced by Nadjib M. turns black for 1 second and Michaelbross are screaming while running down the street being chased by some Native Americans Eddybross: Hurry, Michaelbross. They're gaining on us! and Michaelbross are on a bridge as Native Americans approach from both sides Michaelbross: Dang it, we're surrounded! and Michaelbross jump off the bridge into the water and swim away while the Native Americans continue to shoot at them Native American 1: Crap, they got away! Native American 2: Better call the boss. stick on rock Darn, I'm not getting a smoke signal out here! Native American bangs drum and turns rain stick upside down Michaelbross: Shoot, Eddybross, what the heck did you do? Eddybross: I know, I know. I messed up Michaelbross: "I messed up." You went back to 17th century Jamestown and you gave guns to the Indians and now they're running everything! Eddybross: I said I messed up, alright. I guess I just have this pathological need to be liked Michaelbross: Well it's not a good trait Eddybross: Aw, come on, don't say that. Lemme buy you lunch Michaelbross: Thanks to you the Indians killed all the white people and took over America. I mean, you're the one that's always saying never alter the past Eddybross: Oh come on, Michaelbross, let's be honest, I frequently alter the past to the Last Supper Jesus: Alright, so uh, I guess we'll split the bill 13 ways? Eddybross: Hey, Judas, he ordered like 5 margaritas all you had was a salad and Michaelbeoss run into an alley Michaelbross: You know it actually looks like the Native Americans have done alright for themselves. They do seem to have a lot of shops to Jean Jacket store next to All Other Stuff store Michaelbross: And it looks like they have medical care as well to hospital Native American Doctor: Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I've done this several times today and your husband just isn't responding Native American Wife: Well, have you tried this? Native American Doctor: Ma'am, this is a place of medicine Eddybross: And their popular music is interesting to radio station Native American Radio Host: And here it is, the number 1 song for the 10,000th week in a row: "Huyah, Huyah, Huyah" plays on radio as host leans back in his chair Eddybross: Well, no matter, we better restore things to the way they were. Let's go back to Brossville and undo...oh my gosh! Michaelbross: What, what is it? Eddybross: The return pad! Looks like it took some bullets during our escape. Doesn't seem to be working Michaelbross: Hmmm... Eddybross: What, whatwhatwhatwhat is that? What is that "hmmm"? What are you looking for? What are you looking for specifically? Yeah, that's right. But I'm afraid our only hope is perhaps the alternate version of Eddybross in this universe has created his own time machine that we can use Michaelbross Well, let's hope so, otherwise they're gonna kill us Eddybross: Yeah, or stick us on some kind of white people reservation to two white people on the sidewalk as two Native Americans drive up Native American Driver: Don't give them any money! They're just gonna spend it all on deviled-eggs to the Native American version of Felipebross and the brosses Native American Lily: Well there's my brave warrior. How was work today? Native American Eddybross: Oh it was so annoying, everyone was coming around with their daughters selling girl scout corn. It made me feel so guilty, I had to buy like 20 ears Native American Michaelbross: Hey, shot in the dark, but uh, is anyone else in the mood to run really fast in one direction? and Michaelbross climb through Native American Eddybross' window Michaelbross: Look there it is! Eddybross: And it looks like he has a return pad too! Alright, come on, let's get back to BrossVille and set things right enter the time machine and appear in BrossVille Michaelbross: Look, there you are giving them the guns walks past with a Native American woman Eddybross: What the heck are you doing there? You told me you were checking on the horses Michaelbross: Well, she's a sizable woman, that's what I meant Eddybross: Alright, come on, we've gotta get those guns back. Native Americans Hey, hi, how are you today? Good to see you. Listen, we've just been informed that these guns are defective. Uh, we're from the gun company. Anyhow, you know how we like to take things back from you people? We're gonna go ahead and take these back Michaelbross: That's right, we're from Gun Co Eddybross: Shut up, you're blowing it Native American 3: Where you taking guns? Eddybross: Michaelbross, grab the return pad Native American 4: Get 'em, pale face! and Michaelbross time travel away Native American 3: They're gone. We can talk normal now and Michaelbross walk out of the time machine back in Eddybross' room Michaelbross: Well, looks like everything's back to normal Eddybross: Only one way to be certain. Okay, let's do a quick search here. Native American role models. 0 results found, looks like we did it, Michaelbeoss Michaelbross: Oh, thank god. Hey, what are you gonna do with all those guns? Stewie: I don't know, sell them to some messed-up kid? Michaelbross is walking through the hallway Michaelbross: What the heck is that? Eddybross? enters Eddybross' room to find him breaking apart the time machine Michaelbross: Oh, my goshity gosh! What are you doing?! Eddybross: This time machine has almost killed us a hundered times, Michaelbross. And yesterday was just too close a call. So I've decided to get rid of it before something irreparable happens Michaelbross: But Eddybross, your time machine, it's like your crowning achievement! I can't believe you'd just destroy it! Eddybross: Trust me, Michaelbross, it's for the best. And hey, at least I've had some fun with it. Do you know what I did last week? I time-traveled ahead to Christmas so I wouldn't have to wait all year for the new toys to come out to Eddybross in toy store Cashier: Wow, good timing little fella, this just came out today Eddybross: Uh, yeah, I kinda knew that already Cashier: Would you like to donate an extra dollar to the Quahog food bank? Eddybross: Oh, sure! And would you like to come home and clean my toilet, while we're both doing stuff for each other? the junkyard, Eddybross' time machine gets crushed Michaelbross: Well, I guess that's it. This is like the end of an era Eddybross: Oh sack up you buttcart, it's just a machine! Michaelbross: God, look at all the perfectly good stuff that people just throw out for no reason Eddybross: I don't know, it's mostly twin mattresses. If you have a twin mattress aren't you pretty much a failure as a human being? Michaelbross: No, I mean it, like here look at this street hockey net, it's in great shape. You know, we should take this home and set it up. Get some fresh air, get some exercise Eddybross: Yeah, I suppose I could use a new hobby now that the time machine is gone Michaelbross: You sure you're not gonna miss that thing? Eddybross: I was getting bored of it anyway. You know not every historical event is all it's cracked up to be to women's rights meeting at the 1920 election Woman: Women, we've spent decades fighting for our right to vote, so when you go to those booths and cast your ballot remember: Warren G Harding is way the cutest! She screams as the rest of the women scream and start a pillow fight and plays in the background and Michaelbross walk out to the street with hockey stuff Eddybross: Okay, Michaelbross, I'm just putting this out there, but I'm a red bross and only idiots don't let red brosses win Michaelbross: Wow, look at this day, huh? You know usually I'd be sitting inside writing, you'd be working on one of your machines, but here we are enjoying it Eddybross: Yes, it is a nice change of pace. Oh wait, I gotta go grab my knee pads, I was using them for...for...for this other thing. Anyway I'll be right back walks away as a car comes racing down the street Eddybross: Michaelbross, LOOK OUT! car hits Michaelbross Eddybross: NOOO!!!, MICHAELBROSS! rest of the Brosses race outside Lily: Oh my god! Michaelbross! Michaelbross, can you hear me? Felipebross: Holy crap, what happened? nixel walks over and kicks Michaelbross in the face Nixel: Nix nix nix! (That guy sucked) Brosses is in the waiting room of the Hospital Chrisbross: Lily, is Michaelbross gonna be okay? Lily: Dunno, Chrisbross, but this is the best doctor in Brossville. Michaelbross' getting the finest care there is Felipebross: He had to share the ambulance with a chicken! Chrisbross: chicken Umm, aren't you supposed to be running around? Chicken: Don't talk to me, you have a bad reputation in the chicken community Lily: doctor Doctor, how is Michaelbross? Is he gonna be okay? Doctor: I'm so sorry, but Michaelbross' injuries are just too severe for us to save him. I don't know how much longer he has, but I suggest that you all go in and say your farewells. Brosses enter the operating room Lily: Oh my god. Michaelbross, no! Felipebross: I can't believe it, you're really... Eddybross: Crap, Michaelbross, you can't die. We were gonna do so many things together. We were gonna become wind surfers. I was gonna be a little better than you, but we were both gonna be good mumbles something Lily: Hey guys, I think Michaelbross is trying to say something Michaelbross: You... you guys, I love you all, and- gets crushed by a huge lightbulb starts Doctor: Cruddums, I didn’t know that‘d happen! Taylorbross: Oh my god, he's... Lily: Yes, Taylorbross, I'm afraid...I'm afraid Michaelbross is dead! Brosses go back to the Gammson's backyard Felipebross: Guys, I'm gonna need a few minutes alone upstairs. I feel like Weird Al Yankovic at a bad polka party. Eddybross: he cleans up the street hockey stuff Stupid street hockey, I wish we'd never went to that dump. This sucks! I'm the one that had to throw away the stupid time machine. Wait a minute, that's it! I've just gotta rebuild the time machine and then I can go back and save Brian is at a fair Mr. Bermy: Eddybross! Stewie?! How are you? Stewie: Oh not well, Mr Berm. I need your help. I have to track down a titanium capacitor for a high wattage mainframe I'm going to construct. Mr. Bermy: Titanium capacitors? Sorry, there's no way to get those anymore (Stewie walks away) Eddybross: What do you mean? You've gotten them for ''me ''before. Mr. Bermy: I know, but the one guy who made those drew a doodle of Mohammed, so he's not around anymore. He wasn't even doing it on purpose, just absent-mindedly while talking on the phone, but it was Mohammed so...you know... Eddybross: Oh, that's awful! Okay Mr. Bermy, thanks anyway. Odie Crud, Odie, without those capacitors it'll be completely impossible to build a functioning time machine. I guess that means Michaelbross is really gone for good Michaelbross' funeral Lily: Keithybross and Joeybross Thanks so much for coming, guys. Michaelbross would be very thankful that you're here Keithybross: No problem, Lily. You know I usually don't come to funerals. Since that Monday, always wind up getting hit by a black women with her purse! Angry Black Woman: You! You find the man who tried to grab my purse! Keithybross: Uh, ma'am...what's your relationship to Michaelbross? Angry Black Woman: You bring him to justice. You make sure this guy didn't die for nothing. Keithybross: Are you sure you're at the right funeral? Ma'am Michaelbross' a bross. Angry Black Woman: You show the world why you became a cop Keithybross: Not a cop! Remember!?!? Lily: Thanks, everybody, for coming today. (Ghost) Dough: None of you people came to my funeral... Chrisbross: I know Felipebross wanted to say a few words... Felipebross: Oh boy, this is um...this is probably the worst pain I've ever had to go through and I've sprained my ankle twice. Umm, the truth is, Michaelbross wasn't just my gray bross kiddie. He was my best friend in the whole world. He was interesting, he was funny, and...I guess what I'm trying to say is, he was like a brother to me and...I'm gonna spend the rest of my life missing him. Lily: We're all gonna miss him, we’re all gonna miss him very much! Vardan023: Snap out of it... snap out of it, snap out of it, snap out of it! casket lowers into the ground as the brosses watches, crying. Felipebross throws the final rose on top (4 months later) Vardan023: Man, was Michaelbross good! We gotta find somebody who can replace him before we drown in tears! Felipebross: That was a great/sad day. Lily: I’m gonna go to plentyoffish.com. Hey, I just got hooked with Gremmobross! (9 hours later) Deliveryman: Got this Little Caesars pizza for ya! And I brought the guy who sent it. Gremmobross: Hey, gal! I just hooked with you. Lily: Sorry, but I just hooked you to me since Michaelbross died. Gremmobross: I was there. It was sad! Want a bite? (Lily and Gremmobross eat the pizza slice a la Lady and the Tramp) Lily and Gremmobross in unison: WOAH! You gotta watch my mouth! Hey, stop copying me! (Everyone laughs, then the end card plays) Category:Transcripts Category:Completed Transcripts